my STO toon, T'varis

transphobia

*This blog is written by a person with asperger's who doesn't see the world as you do, and thus doesn't see why certain people are scared of or hateful towards transpeople. Person with asperger's= ME. That is all.*
Why do we as a society still encounter people who are so offended by those who are so different that we can't accept them as people and rather as such choose to dehumanize them?
Well, let me ask you this:
Do people still hate people of different ethnicities?
Do people still hate based on differences in religion?
The answer is yes to both.
Why? Because those differences bring up an inherent fear that is so deeply ingrained that we feel it is our duty to make the fear go away. A lot of people think that if you get rid of the other person, you get rid of the fear, but the fear will still be there.
I too, needed to address my fears, and the best way to get rid of fear is to shine a light on it, to get to know it.
You see, with knowledge, that which seems so scary at first doesn't really end up being what you thought you would encounter.
Fear is nothing but false expectations appearing real.
So, I think if some people with phobias, such as transphobia (phobia being the Greek word for fear, by the way) had more knowledge and the willingness to see trans people as human (Which, despite what your pastor says, they ARE), they could at least be willing to realize that as fellow humans, they deserve the right not to have their basic human rights violated.
Thats right, every human on this planet has human rights, and when you violate them, you are doing something wrong.
When you hurt injure, or kill someone, it's wrong.
Dehumanizing someone doesn't change the fact that they are human, it just makes you less sensitive to it.
In fact, if people weren't ignorant, would they advocate violence against those who they see as different? NO.
People who like to use the terms "abomination" and "God hates" are missing the real point.
I'm trying to make a point here.
Lets for a moment, follow the teachings in the book and assume that God is love (I never thought otherwise), and assuming that he also created everyone on this planet (Which I also believe. You can believe what you want. :D ), would such a loving being hate people he created?
We tend to see those who are different as less than human because if we saw them as they really are, we wouldn't be able to resolve it in our conscience to do any harm to them,
Why is that? Because we would hopefully logically think "If this person is human, ergo I cannot harm them because my ethical programming says that is not the thing that would be good to do because I am harming another HUMAN BEING".
But, who among us is that perfect that we can accept our friends and enemies with love in our hearts?
Not a one of us, not even me.
I constantly find myself at odds with some individual who has said or done something to me (Actually done something) and I have a bad attitude toward them.
So, how do we change our attitudes?
We resolve that yesterday we said and did things that cannot be changed, but today is a new day, and we can improve on that.
As far as change is concerned, its ironic, because when we change things about our lives we are trying to improve our circumstances and our overall well being.
Transsexuals are doing just that, trying to be who they are inside, and when someone tries to force them to fit their expectations, they are hindering a person's personal growth and development.
When we suppress ourselves, no matter how it is, and no matter who we are, it is a toxic thing.
When a baby is born, we go by the indicators (Or the doctors do), such as what parts are included in the person's body. If the person is born with girl parts, the doctor says it's a girl, and if the person has boy parts, it is assumed that the new parents have a boy.
Generally, in a lot of cases, the brain and body match up, so the doctor made a good call.
But, with the way the development happens in utero, the brain is sometimes wired one way (IE female) and the body develops as male.
In fact, all brains and bodies start off as one template until physical and chemical changes dictate otherwise, and you get a boy.
There are religious groups that freely hate, and yet when their angry behaviour is questioned, they recite their "religious freedoms".
Religious freedoms do not and never should include the right to hate speech, or the right to bully another human being.
Referring solely to Christianity (As that's where a lot of discriminative people stem from, even though I am NOT saying ALL church people do that), we see people on one hand preaching about love and acceptance on one hand, and calling persons of the LBGT community "abominations", "Freaks" and "heathens" on the other hand.
Is this at all logical, when we consider the fact that the book itself (The bible) says to "love thy neighbour"?
No, it really isn't. But I have come to expect that many people who hold hatred and fear in their hearts aren't approaching this from a logical standpoint at all.
They are accepting what their peers and sometimes their pastor tell them they should be doing.
If I don't like (Or even hate) a particular person, I know that what I'm doing is not only not in line with what I am supposed to be doing, but not going to evolve me as a person.
Of course, there are people with whom I know I can't associate, because to me, the association would be toxic.
I would not consider myself a good Christian by any means, but I would rather be hated for being tolerant of people being whom they are than have my church's' approval for being trans or homophobic(Whatever their subsequent thoughts on the issue would end up being).
Now, there are some wonderful people, though, who don't see the things that divide, but the things that unite.
There are churches, and other religious groups who welcome people in regardless of who they love or what gender they identify as.
Why? Because they realize that people don't come with instructions and we have to try to be at least accepting enough of others to say to ourselves, "I might not agree with this person, but I'm not going to tell them how to live their life".
Subsequently, the people that don't agree were taught that you have to make people think like you do and behave as you do, because non-conformists rock the boat and nobody is happy with that.
I can honestly say that I have NO IDEA what will happen to someone who does or doesn't conform to the so called "norm". I can only say that I am a person just as anyone else, and I want to give the kind of love and respect that I would hope to receive in kind.
So, in that respect, am I threatened by trans men or trans women? Nope.
As with all human beings whether cisgendered men, Trans-gender men (That would be men born in female bodies, or FTM s) or Trans-gender Women (Women born with male bodies), essentially we all have good and bad.
There's the people I would personally want to associate with because I can get along with them as people (They're not too disagreeable or negative) and there are people who I really don't feel would benefit me as a person to associate with.
But I NEVER base this on whether they were born with the parts to match their identity, as again, they're still human, as am I.
Men get very insecure about trans women though, because they think something is wrong if they happen to like a woman and she so happens to not conform to their expectations.
If I were dating a woman, and she were trans (Or wasn't), I wouldn't care because to me, cis gender and trans-gender doesn't make a difference. To me, they're still women (some are nice, and others are vindictive.).
My only concern is "Is this woman someone I'd enjoy being around?" and "Can she be accepting of me and my personality?". If yes, ok, no problem. She could be anybody as long as we click and there's chemistry.
Now, I know there are guys that are not open minded, but there's always "Thanks but no thanks", which is a hell of a lot nicer and not illegal than using violence to vent their insecurities.
Am I surprised at there being violence and murders of trans women? no.
There are men who still assault, rape and  murder their Cis gender female girlfriends, wives, sisters, etc.
It doesn't make it morally, legally or socially acceptable in my view.
So, why, if someone would be outraged over a murder of a genetic woman, would they not have equal outrage over a trans woman?
Or better yet, why do we as people not treat murder the same?
Because we place value of certain groups over others. The social pecking order.
Wrong is wrong, and people are people, no matter how you try to justify it.
Abuse is usually the abuser's issue, not the person being abused.
If you see abuse going on, tell the person it's not going to fly.
People only abuse others because they feel they can get away with it and nobody else will care.
Usually, when someone intervenes (Or calls the police to do so, as some circumstances one cannot safely do so themselves.), the person abusing (Which is someone trying to get power by taking someone else's away) is not a brave individual (If they hurt someone they perceive to be weaker then themselves) and with enough deterrent WILL BACK DOWN.
I want to see change. I want to see people learning better on how to do things, so I offer alternatives.
Take them or leave them, I've voiced my opinion here.

Amy Winehouse Tribute

Many people saw her as many things.

There were those that saw the addiction.

There were those that saw another "burned out celebrity".

And there were those that saw a young woman who was troubled and who left her life behind sooner than they would have liked.

Her parents saw the little girl she once was.

Her rabbi most likely mourned for the Jewish soul that was lost to us collectively as humans.

I can only speculate.

To me, she was somebody that definately left an impression on people.

I wasn't a fan of her music, but I think she left her mark on her fans, her friends, and of course on her family.

And in a small way, oddly enough, on me.

In closing,thanks, Amy.

Sorry I didn't get to meet you while you were still alive, I'm sure we'd have some funny conversations if I had.

Regards

Gavriil

Ps: If you see my nan there, let her win at bingo from time to time.

Intro

I have blogged in the past, and sharing my thoughts is something that I am indeed no stranger to.
One of the reasons for this is: I simply have a lot that I want to say, and as of yet, despite my not having a physical stage in which I can be on, there is this wonderful tool called the internet.
Aside note: MY venus is in LEO, so I do enjoy having a stage or platform in which I can share ideas, whether people wish to listen to them or not. It's really, the advantage of having the ability to choose. You can choose to take some of my ideas, or you can choose to dismiss them out of hand.
Does this mean that every person who reads what I type is going to leave this blog thinking that this is something for them? Well, I hope not.
I know that is a somewhat weird thing for a person to say, but realistically, I don't expect everybody is going to want to think like I do, and really; that's somewhat of a good thing. Life would be rather boring if every person was the same, and I have not claimed that I have the answers to all of the questions out there.
I have an inquiring mind and I also have the will to go seek out as much information as I can on things I am interested in at the time.
I also have the desire to grow and to better myself, and if you knew me, you would realize that I am doing phenominally better than I was a mere ten years ago.
Does this mean that I am satisfied and content being where I am and have no dreams for the future?
NO. Not by a long shot.
My name is Gavriil Peloponnakos, and at a very young age, I was diagonsed with Asperger's.
Now, just to clarify, Asperger's is a variant of High Functioning Autism. Do I believe that I will ever be "cured" of this? No.
Why would I want to be cured of something that I don't frankly see as a problem?
Sure, my brain is wired differently physically, and I don't think like most other people, but from what I have seen, a lot of people make excuses for why they don't go after what they really want in life, instead vying to go for the safest most tried and proven route instead of taking a gamble on themselves.
I have had a problem with my verbal filter (It almost doesn't exist, I guess). There is nothing that tells me "This is right to say, and this is not so good", merely "Does this seem like something I want to say" and "Has somebody yelled at me because of this?".
Of course, despite my social awkwardness, I don't just quit trying to get along with other people.
Despite the fact that people around me sometimes don't know what to expect, it doesn't stop me from still trying to better myself in ways that I feel will benefit me.
Despite what people think or don't think I can and cannot do, I don't give up on my dreams and goals of what I want to do.
I'm not writing this stuff so I can get sympathy or pity. I am writing this to inspire you.
You see, I was raised in a single parent home without a father around.  The schools I went to misdiagnosed me with Attention Defecit Disorder.
The guidance councillors think that they are clinical psychyiatrists or something, apparently, and suggested that my mother put me on ritalin. My mother, being the person that she is, looked at my guidance councillor and told her that wasn't going to happen.
Some time later, when I was seeing an actual therapist, they diagnosed me as having Asperger's Disorder.
I didn't want anything to do with this diagnosis, because I didn't want to face the stigma of being made fun of in my school. I was thirteen years old and the year was 1996. People were ignorant then, some still are ignorant now. I got picked on in school because I didn't really have a sense of what is socially appropriate.
My guidance councillor's advice when I got picked on was a generic "don't make yourself a target" without any explainations of what I could do to correct my behavior. Of course, it wouldn't have done much, as people that were cruel at thirteen years old saw me as somebody to pick on in any case.
If a guidance councillor dared to say something so outrageous to a student who is being bullied in 2011, THEY would be DISMISSED from their position and would no longer be an employee of that school.
The anti bullying initiative is definately a good first step. Also, we strive to educate people on how to end the cycle of hurtful situations and words.
Unfortunately, it takes the suicides of children as young as EIGHT YEARS OLD to make us realize that we need to focus on the better alternative to the angry bullying ways of some of their peers.
I went through school and I felt truly alone, and even at twenty (I was in school three years later than graduation should have been), when I acknowledged I have Asperger's and was willing to tey to deal with it, I still felt outcast and unwanted.
If you have any doubt about what a single person's attitude can make them accomplish, look at me.
I was called "faggot" and "retard" amongst other things going through school.
I was actually called "retard" and stupid by my own stepfather, and berated constantly.
As recently as three years ago, I was so bitter and angry that I would be on the bus and I would project a field of negativity and hostility so nobody bad would come near me.
The downside of this? Nobody nice wanted anything to do with me either.
I had been so dissapointed and angered by life and the circumstances that I was unwilling to see anything else.
Where am I now? I moved to a new province, which people in my old school probably thought I would never do. I draw very skillfully, which if you knew my motor skills when I was a child, you would be amazed at. My monitor is also a 42" flatscreen television, and I was given it by someone I know who wanted to get rid of it. I held an image of what I wanted in my mind, and I got it.
Whenever my computer bites the dust, and I can't repair it (I am also very skilled at diagnosing computer problems, as I am highly intelligent), I am able to manifest a way to get one.
I'm not exactly in the financial state I want to be yet, but for now, I can have a guarantee of food on the table without using a food bank (not a guarantee even last year). I live in a neighborhood free of drugs or violence, and I don't have to worry about my own or my mother's personal safety now.
I have a roof over my head and I have a room that has a bed which doesn't have the springs poking up at me since it isn't a cheap mattress.  My computer isn't so slow that I can hardly do anything on it.
I actually was able to get a wireless keyboard an mouse.
Also, emotionally, aside from the material stuff; I am more happy and content than I was ten or even three years ago, because I realized that nobody but I can give me the permission to feel happiness and well being.
I even lost my best friend as recently as last year because he wasn't willing to be friends anymore, and yet I still held onto a couple things. My art and my desire to move to a place with more opportunities.
You know you're in a "bad situation" when you're paying part of your bills, and you can't always afford groceries, and you have a lot going on in your life.
This year, I had to move out of that place because of many things. I liked the wide open spaces, but I hated the noise. The place was no longer a home to me, and I was bitter and angry, but in the midst of it, I still could envision something better for myself.
You see, people do have real barriers and they do have real things that make them have to work with their limitations or sometimes even surpass them entirely.
So, why did I bother writing this?
Because I am neither bragging nor attention seeking, but I am telling you a simple truth;
That truth is, you can do one of two things with your life. You can blame your circumstances or people out side of you  for what is going on, or your can envision what you TRULY want out of life, and strive to GET IT.
It may take a month, or it may take years. But don't let age or education or circumstances be your barrier.
There was an illiterate man of over ninety years old, and he learned to read.
There is somebody at 85 years of age (Jack Slotnick) is going for a bachelor of arts in psychology and then going for his master's degree. He doesn't need to, statistically. Expectations of people who are of this age are that they will retire and stop trying. They are seen as "why bother" by some of the younger people.
Its never too late to get started on your dreams. Its never too late to be who you want to be.
You're never going to go anywhere if your excuses are bigger than you are.
You can have a car, but if you don't fill it up with gas or start the engine and use the accelerator pedal, you can steer all you want, but you will be in one spot with a flooded gas chamber.
By the way, while it is initially hard to get around all the negative programming you've been conditioned with, it is never impossible.
I know that as a person with free choice, you can accept or reject what I've been trying in my own way to share with you because in the end, you have the freedom to live your life the way you want.
  You probably wonder about other people. "Can I change so and so?"
No. It's gotta be the person who wishes to change.
You can work on one person in this life, and that is you. It's a 24/7 job doing that alone, but it's not hard, because you'll be coming into what you feel you want to do.
There is an awesome quote from esther hicks-
"if you knew your potential to feel good, you would ask nobody to be different so that you can feel good. You would free yourself from all that cumbersome impossibility of needing to control the world or needing to control your mate, or child. You are the only one that creates your reality, for nobody else can think for you, it is only you".

Many people use the lingo such as "uneversal mind" or "law of attraction" or "law of vibration" where others use the terms such as "G-d" and "spirit" and "prayer". Whatever works for a person.
If you believe it's the universe or G-d that's guiding you, awesome.
I believe G-d has a hand in my sucess, but I also believe that if I don't take action, his hand won't do much with me.
I'm not one of those preachy "The l-rd this" and "the l-rd that" people.
I believe that people should realize they need to be themselves. Not for their loved ones or for some person telling them they need to, but for themselves.
now, positive thinking isn't exactly the whole of it. You can have a smile on your face and still have a bad circumstance. It's through planning and having an emotionally invested mental picture of what you want to be do and have.
You don't have to be a millionaire, and you don't have to be the next missionary to africa. Your vision and life's goals can be what YOU say they are.
Sure, you will get lots of naysayers for whatever reason, but everyone going in the right direction comes across resistance. In call of duty or halo, if you're not encountering resistance, you're probably not going anywhere, or probably going the wrong way.
But resisting people and their resistance will not get you anywhere in real life either. That which you shout "no" at persists.  There are many wars on many things, and these things haven't been eliminated.
One of the greatest examples of choosing to live the life you truly want is transgender people.
They didn't choose to have the brain that didn't match their physical gender. But, the ones that transition encounter the possibility of being outcast and shunned by even closest family members.
They encounter the possibility of being assaulted or murdered by people who hate them for no other reason then being different. But yet, if they stay repressed and don't express who they really are inside, the stress of living a lie can be just as deadly.
If you're still confused, there's a great video called "the secret" and "beyond the secret".
Part of it is presentation, but they make some really interesting and valid points in it.
Also, another good video to watch if you've seen one or both of these is "what the bleep do we know".
It's kind similar, except from a quantom phuysics point of view.
Also, there's a website which is inspirational with the life story of Morris E Goodman.
http://www.themiracleman.org/
Well, that's about all I can think of, so have a great day, and if you want to, you can leave your comments and questions, and if I know how to answer or respond, I will. (As I pointed out earlier, I don't know everything there is to know).
But I do know this. Everybody has potential to do great things. It's all upto you.